better to be safe than sorry
Is She/He Really
or not your partner is right for you is one of the most important decisions
of your life. Your entire future depends on these choices so how can you
be sure you have the picked the right one? Well, the first thing you need
to do is honestly ask yourself is why you love or are with your partner?
You would be surprised at the answers you hear when you ask that same question
to your friends.
answers to that question include the following:
they love me.
better than being alone.
don't want to hurt them.
I am not sure I would find someone better.
answers indicate a relationship built upon fear, insecurity and pity. There
are good matches out there, but if there are too many ifs,
or buts then
sooner or later the relationship will fail. Now that doesn't mean
you will break up, you could stay together for the rest of your lives and
still fail as a couple.
question still remains, how do you choose the right partner?
you are going to choose a partner that you are physically attracted to.
Apart from that aspect, there are a few important areas you should
you talk to them, are they on the same level as you? How long does it take
them to answer your question? Do you get bored because they answer everything
else under the sun rather than the question you asked or do you enjoy
the tangents they take you on? Do they speak very slowly compared to you?
Do they understand you when you speak? Can you really talk to them about
absolutely anything? This may not seem important now but could you
imagine living with someone for the next 50 - 70 years that can never answer
a direct question, frustrates you to no end by their speed of communication
and just doesn't get it when are trying to explain something to them?
is really a given. You have to have something in common with them to be
able to be with them. Otherwise you will have nothing to talk about and
nothing to do together. Yes, physically you may have great sex, but how
far can that really take you? When two people have different interests,
one person usually ends up sacrificing their desires for the other person...or
up living completely separate lives.
both want the same things in life or are they going to hold you back? Are
they willing to let you have that career you have always wanted. Even if
it means working long hours plus going to school at night?
have the same values as you? Would they feel totally OK doing something
that you would have st! rong objections to or vice versa? Do you have the
same beliefs on major issues such as religion, prejudice, raising children
etc? If not, is this something that will become a problem in the future?
a slob and you the type of person that likes to keep the house immaculate?
Do you take the same level of care of your appearance?
is a lot of false information about relationships out there. One of
the biggest lies is that opposites attract. That is really just a myth.
Now a lot of the things listed above do come down to personal choice. It
comes down to what you are and are not willing to accept. Just because
you have fallen in love with someone does not mean that they are the right
one for you. The number of people in physically or emotionally abusive
relationships should be testament enough to that.
is for sure. Do not settle for something less than you want because
you are scared of hurting them, being all one or you feel this might be
the best you can get. You never know what you might have missed that was
right around the corner. Settling is always settling, no matter what way
you look at it. By doing so, you will be left with a lifetime of "what